I find it hard to pronounce '-ther'

Yes, the English "th" sound isn't found in many other languages, so a lot of people struggle with it. One piece of advice I've seen is to begin with an "S" sound (or "Z" for the voiced "th" you'll find in words like mother, brother, etc), and then slide the tip of your tongue forward until it touches your upper front teeth.

I don't have any speech training, but just trying it myself, try mashing the front of your tongue harder into the back of your top teeth.

There are two "th" sounds in English. This should be the voiced one - ð https://thesoundofenglish.org/th-pronunciation/ Hopefully that helps narrow it down a bit. You can look up that symbol, ð, to find better guides and videos with diagrams.

The good news is that “th” is not one of the highest priority sound pairs for intelligibility/“understandability”, but for the sake of improving one’s accent, I can understand the motivation to improve it all the same. Question: how do you pronounce the words “teeth” and “thumb”? With a /t/? I might recommend starting with voiceless “th” words (the two above examples) to practice before moving on to the words you’ve asked about if you also have difficulty with the voiceless ones. For people with high awareness, it can be helpful to start with exaggerations. You could try gently putting your tongue between your teeth until you get the hang of the placement (with practice you’ll pull the tongue back until it’s a little less obvious but still effective). Try words like thumb, thigh, thin, thaw, marathon, teeth. Then move on to the voiced “th” words like this, the, though, mother (the ones that make your throat vibrate when you say them). Problem with the word *mother* is -er (/ɚ/) can be another doozy sound, so putting them back to back is like your final exam. Good luck. 😗 Random speech therapist

While der is incorrect, the sound is close enough that unless you really emphasize the der sound, it won't be too out of place.

These are two of the hardest sounds in English, including for native speakers. Natives don’t generally pick up the TH sounds or the R sounds (in fully rhotic accents, there are two main R sounds, a consonant and a vowel) until around eight to ten years old. Kids typically replace the TH sounds with /f/ and /v/ and the R sounds with /w/. So “brother” would sound like “bwuvew” or something like that. It takes a lot of practice. But also, these are really the two extremes of tongue position in English. The TH sounds are the farthest forward in the mouth, being interdental, and the R sounds are the farthest back, being retroflex or bunched (often with pharyngealization). So it can be a difficult to get used to the movement switching between the two. It is true that T/D and the TH sounds are distinct in most accents, as are F/V and especially S/Z. To most natives these are eight different sounds. Honestly, the only way to get better at making the sounds and switching between these two sounds is to practice with someone who can correct your pronunciation (or, if you have a really good ear, by yourself). You have to learn new muscle memory that natives begin learning from birth. You also have to stop relying on the muscle memory you already have for your native language. This is difficult, but it can be done. Practice by ensuring you can make each sound accurately on its own and then practice slowly switching between them. They can both be held out so this makes that a little easier. Make sure your tongue is touching your top teeth but not pressing into them.

My grandfather moved to Canada from Italy in 1952 and he STILL struggles with the “th” noise. It’s a difficult one and you shouldn’t get down on yourself if you find it hard. Native speakers will still understand exactly what you’re saying and it won’t hinder our communication in the least.

if your native language doesn't naturally have the TH sounds then yes, it's hard if you're not used to it at all. you'll need an accent coach. TH is the only consonant sound in english where tongue placement has to be precise.

If you can say “the” so that it sounds like “thuh” then you can just say that and people will understand you. It’s how singers pronounce it when singing since “er” doesn’t sound nice when drawn out. You’ll hear a lot of native speakers do this in casual speech.

In US English, d for th is kind of a dialect thing. See Alan Sherman’s [Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XLKcfmf4GS4) Edit: In my hometown there’s also an area of the city called Northeast Minneapolis, which is popularly spelled and pronounced “Nordeast”. I do not believe this is a Scandinavian reference as the Clare’s is traditionally associated with Polish-Americans.

If shoving your tongue into the back of your teeth (as has been suggested) doesn't work, try (lightly) biting your tongue instead. I have never seen anyone comment on the sound produced this way being any different, and it's the way my entire family does it (I've checked). The only downside is that you sometimes bite your tongue harder than you want to.

If you pronounce the “th” in my name as a “d”, I’ll be pissed off. Just stick the tip of your tongue between your teeth and blow.

There are actually dialects of English that pronounce the "th" in "mother" as a "d". They're perfectly good dialects, nothing wrong with them, though they tend not to be prestige dialects. If you want to make the standard voiced interdental fricative, start with a "z" sound, put put your tongue just barely between your teeth. Just the tip, not the whole thing. One confusion between the voiced and unvoiced versions of these sounds is that they're written the same in English, with a th. But they are different. In one, you vibrate your vocal cords (such as in "mother") and in the other, you don't (such as in "think"). You can get a sense of whether or not you're vibrating your vocal cords by putting your fingertip gently against your larynx while you say them. You will feel the vibration in sounds like \[z\] and \[g\], but not in \[s\] and \[k\].