How do I use "Whose" & "Whom"?

“Whose” is used a great deal, in my experience. “Whom” is much more rare.

Whose hat is that? Who's going to the mall with me? He gave it to whom?!!!

Frankly it it doesn’t matter, many English speakers will never use it in their life.

"Whose" is essentially equivalent to "De quién". Example: "¿De quién es esta pluma?" "Whose pen is this?" "Whom" is essentially equivalent to "A quién" and is used when "who" is an object (direct or indirect). Examples: "¿A quien viste?" "Whom did you see?" - direct object example "¿A quien le doy este libro?" "To whom do I give this book?" - indirect object example

Most native speakers don't even understand how to properly use "whom". A native speaker may use whom in any case you could use who, but this is not always correct. The most common uses i know of that *are* correct are the phrases: To whom it may concern -- used when writing a letter and you don't know the name of the individual that actually will be seeing it, or the person in question is actually multiple people. To whom am I speaking? -- used during phone conversations when you don't know who is on the other line. Whose is a more specific question word. Its asking who (perhaps, to whom?) something belongs or who is doing something. Whose bag is this? Whose driving? Does that help?

'Whom' means the same thing as 'who'. Historically, 'who' replaces noun phrases in subject positions and 'whom' replaces noun phrases in object positions. So, "Jeff hugged her" becomes "who hugged her?" or "whom did Jeff hug?" However, the distinction between 'who' and 'whom' is disappearing these days as fewer and fewer people use 'whom.' So these days it's widely acceptable to use 'who' in all contexts (e.g. "who hugged her?" and "who did Jeff hug?" are both acceptable). 'Whose' allows you to question the possessor of an object. E.g. "Whose book is this?" or "We're going to whose house?" If "whose" is not preposed to the beginning of the sentence, then you can see that it would always replace a possessive pronoun like "your" or "his" ("We're going to his house.") The question "whose book is this" is asking "who(m) does this book belong to?" and you can imagine that the sentence version of that question is "This book is his/hers/mine/etc." "Whose" is pronounced the same as "who's", so they are often conflated. But "who's" is just a contraction of "who is" (e.g. "who's going to the party?").

"Whom" is used when you have who and a preposition before it. To whom was it sent? = Who was it sent to? I don't know to whom it was sent. ≈ I don't know who it was sent to. The 2nd ones in the examples are more common in everyday speech. "Whose" is a possessive pronoun like "mine", it's used when you don't know the owner of something or referring to the owner of something. Well the owner or the person who is associated with it. Whose coat is this? = Who owns this coat? The man, whose coat it was, stood up = The man, the owner of the coat, stood up. Whose job is it to fix the pipes? = Who is employed to fix the pipes? The woman, whose job it was to fix the pipes, was sick = The woman, who was employed to fix the pipes, was sick. The 1st ones in the examples are more common

‘whom’ is used instead of who as the object of a verb or preposition. use whom if you can replace it with him or her.

Hardly anybody will care if you use "who" instead of "whom". However, a good way to remember when to use "whom" is seeing if "them" fits in its place. For example "With [who/whom]?", "With them?" works so "With whom?"

I often use they or them instead of whose and whom? Who did they talk to? That word really annoys me and I will change my wording. Whom, whose, and who is Germanic in origin and follows German grammar rules. It's something that got dragged into English and we're too lazy to get rid of it. Anyways.

Don't bother with Whom. Makes you sound like an annoying librarian who cares about fancy grammar and Shakespeare. I am a native speaker and I did great in my English classes. I figured out how to use old timey words like "thee" and "thy" easily by myself. I know how to use a semicolon. I still don't know how to use Whom.

Whose is possessive and whom is an object. The way I was taught was use “whose” if you feel like “his” fits and “whom” you feel like “him” fits. Who is teaching you? Whom are you being taught by? Whose student are you? ETA: side note, some people might call me out for ending a sentence with a preposition but that’s honestly a pedantic “rule” that very few modern native speakers actually follow.