How can I speak respectfully in English without using honorifics like 'Anh', 'Chị', or 'Chú'?

By accepting that referring to someone as "you" simply isn't rude in English. Don't go around using "sir" or "ma'am" unless you're sure those terms are standard where you are. They are not used much in Australia and won't go down well with a lot of people. Show respect by using your manners - please, thank you, excuse me. Wait your turn when you're in a line, don't interrupt people when they're speaking, etc. Those things are far more necessary than using an honorific and you can't go wrong with them.

English really doesn't care too much about a persons age when it comes to formal or informal speech. It's only position that matters, but even then, the rules might be a lot looser in certain contexts than you're used to. I really wouldn't worry about this too much, because in most contexts people just will not care how formally you're addressing them. Aside from the few honorifics that exist in English (e.g. "Mr."), English is quite relaxed when it comes to titles. Instead, the ordinary difference between formal and informal speech is just that in formal speech, you avoid using slang words, curse words, and vulgar words, while trying to use more "smart" words (less common words with more precise meanings). 

[Mr./Mrs./Ms.] + *LastName*

If you want to be very polite you can address people as sir or madam. You wouldn't usually do this in general conversation, but its common for people working in customer services roles for example to show deference by addressing people in that way. It's reasonably common for people to address a very elderly person in that way too, especially if you were talking to them for the first time. In British English at least it's common to address people informally with words like 'mate' or 'love'. You wouldn't use these if you were trying to show respect or deference. Another way native speakers can show deference or politeness is dopping their accent and concentrating on their pronunciation/enunciation. This is commonly referred to as one's 'phone voice' colloquially. 

The very notion of addressing different people in different ways to show respect is cultural and not universal. I don’t use different language when speaking to older people vs. younger people, or to people in higher positions. In my culture, signalling that we see each other as equals is more important.

>I want to avoid sounding rude or overly casual when speaking to older people or those in higher positions. You won't sound rude, so there's nothing to avoid. Many languages of the world do not have specific forms of address that reflect and reinforce social hierarchy (some don't even have second person pronouns at all!). Many of the world's languages express respect and deference nonverbally heavily relying on context, tone, and non-verbal cues to communicate these ideas. Icelandic has many distinctive words for snow that other languages do not have, as Arabic has several words for defining different types of sand that other languages do not. Languages all have very different lexicons that have evolved from culture, geography, lifestyle, tradition, values, upheavals, histories, diet, weather, etc. Language is created by its users and reflects their communicative needs as they change over time. As we move between different languages we are not simply mapping words from one side of the dictionary to the other. We are shifting between different mindsets for communicating and expressing ideas in the most effective way appropriate to each language. This involves switching cultural and social habits that have shaped and influenced the different languages and how their speakers use their language and why. Learning another language is never just a matter of word substitution.

Social hierarchies are made up. There’s no actual reason for them to exist. There’s no reason to address people differently based on age.

Sir and Ma’am are great for honorifics, and you can use titles like Mr., Mrs,. Ms., Miss, Dr., Prof. etc plus surname to show respect for a person. But yeah, “you” is pretty much all we have for pronouns, unlike in many other languages.

Using "you" will not sound rude or overly casual. The concept of "polite" or "impolite" pronouns just doesn't exist. You might be interested in... * **Register:** The words and grammatical structures used to convey or "match" your circumstances. For example, the difference between, "Sup, bitch?" and "How are you today, ma'am?" is register. * **Etiquette:** The set of rules and practices that govern "polite" interactions. This covers everything from which fork you should use first at a formal dinner to whether or not you should look your boss in the eye while they're talking. * **Tone of voice and body language:** Much of what English speakers consider polite or impolite isn't what you say, it's how you say it. "How are you today, ma'am?" has a polite register, but if you say it while sneering and glaring, it's not going to be seen as polite.

Fluff words "I need that/give me that" vs "Could you please hand that to me" English uses fluff words to express formality whereas other languages have specific polite words that express that formality

Culturally I’d be using chh haha that’s like someone saying “now wait a darn minute”

Native to US, I treat everyone the same and get by just fine. I use a friendly voice and smile while I speak, but I've never tried to be *more* respectful to anyone—even in interviews, when talking to my boss's boss, etc. The few people who have ever taken issue with this have all turned out to be people who do not deserve my respect.

Honorific pronouns matter very little in the grand scheme of things. Generally, respect is conveyed through changes in word order. “Hey I actually need that”- informal “Could you get that for me”-formal “I need you to come with me because (reason)” -informal “Could you please come so that (reason)” -formal. The pattern is: potential request=formal. When addressing someone, “you” doesn’t change what changes is the way you inflect it through context. If you’re trying to be formal in a sense where you think someone is wrong (in which case in some cases it’s considered a sign of respect to speak up) then you frame it as if they maybe hadn’t considered it ex: “I think we should do this instead”-informal “have you considered (concept)?”-formal. What you’re describing is called in linguistics a synthetic language vs an analytic language. Basically a language that conveys via suffix or morphology rather than context or syntax. But that’s a whole other discussion

Lol I was taught to use anh/em/con because my other half & family also depend heavily on these honorifics. You're right that "you" lacks any of this nuance and I think the comments about accepting that English doesn't work that way are somewhat missing the point even though it is correct. Ultimately saying "you" in English, by itself, is no different when you mean it disrespectfully vs when you want to be respectful. It's just a missing part of the language that will be hard to adapt to.

In the UK it's generally considered rude to call people sir or madam except in certain circumstances. Like if a cop pulled you over you wouldn't call them sir, you would just address them normally. It makes people uncomfortable. https://vm.tiktok.com/ZNdY8WdX2/

If you want to know some linguistic history, the English 'you' is plural. The singular 'thou' stopped being used because the plural is considered polite - much like 'Sie' in German. In the same way we also lost use of declension - no more thy and thee, or 'whenst' do you...?'

Unfortunately, formality in English is not an easy skill to learn. In Spanish they have “usted” which is what you’re talking about, but in English it’s a combination between vocabulary and sentence structure. The easiest example would be “can you please open the window” sounds informal, and “could you please open the window” sounds more polite. However, this does not mean that “could” is an automatically formal word. “I wish I could help you” is neither formal nor informal. If I were to summarize, formality in English comes from assuming the least about the speaker, and avoiding the command form. So “you might like this” is more respectful than “you will like this.” And “would you mind turning off the light” is more polite than “turn off the light please.”

As an Australian, the only time I ever use "sir" or "ma'am" is when I'm at work and i'm dealing with very elderly people, or if I'm talking to law enforcement and i'm being extra careful because I don't want to give them a reason to detain me, but even in those two situations I'm being a bit excessive and that isn't necessary. In the majority of places, even in workplaces where you're talking to your boss, it is perfectly acceptable to call a person by their first name.

There are ways that people speak that show respect and deference without using honorifics. Enunciating, speaking at an appropriately measured pace, deliberately spending some time being silent, and using slightly more formal language than you would with someone you knew well — all of these can contribute to having a polite tone and demeanor in terms of speech. For many English speakers, it is respectful to make eye contact. For others, it’s more respectful to look downward or slightly off to the side. This can be a bit of a minefield if you’re not sure what kind of subculture you’re engaging with. Best to follow the lead of your native English-speaking peers.

A lot of people are saying to use "sir" or "ma'am", but in the UK, please don't do this. There are very specific cultural contexts where sir or Ma'am are expected, and using it otherwise can come across as passive aggressive. Only use it for positions of personal authority over you, such as your boss, and there are other forms of address you can use, such as "officer" for a policeman. Generally, to be respectful and polite in English you just need to speak in a formal register. Firstly, use greetings. Say "good morning" before noon, "good afternoon" between noon and five and "good evening" after five. Or just the simple "hello" or more casually "hi". At the end of a conversation say "Goodbye", "bye", or "see you" and then when you're going to next see them, e.g. "see you tomorrow". You might make a bit of small talk to someone if it's appropriate to the situation. "How are you?" "Great/terrible weather we're having, aren't we?" Secondly, consider how you word commands, requests or questions. Use please when you're making a command or request that the person wouldn't necessarily do, e.g. "please keep left". Only give a command if you've got authority to do so. If you're making a request, word it like "please can you help me". It's normally more polite to say "Would you like" rather than "Do you want". When someone does something for you or gives you something, say "thank you" or "thanks". In return, say "you're welcome" or "no problem". This is culturally specific to Britain: When you do something wrong, or something goes wrong, say "sorry". If you need to get past someone, say sorry, I'd you need to grab someone's attention, you might say "sorry, excuse me". If someone asks for something and you don't have it, you might say "sorry I don't have that". Lastly, deeds are more important than words, and your politeness comes through in what you do, not just what you say. Hold the door open for people, let people through first.

some English cultures use ma'am/madam and sir, but some (including mine) find that patronising and so rude. there's no honourific system in English, and so the polite thing to do is not use one. It's a different language.

Honour and respect in English is carried by tone and body language, and less so words.

Use would you be so kind as to Instead of can you. Could instead of can Would instead of will English pretending not to tug its forelock is hilarious.

Miss is a much safer bet over madam or ma'am IMO. If you're trying to be polite.

Part of language learning is learning the cultural aspects of language. We don't use similar honorifics in English, with the exception of the American South (sir/ma'am). Just get used to being polite with your choice of words instead, and be polite to everyone the same, i.e.: GIMME IT! --> very rude I WANT IT! --> rude Can I have it? --> okay Could I have it? --> a little polite Would you please give it to me? --> polite May I have it, please? --> very polite No need for honorifics with any of those. They convey the meaning nicely. Use the first two with siblings and close friends and the last two for older people. If the use of honorifics is so culturally ingrained in you that you can't stop yourself, then the people around you might think that you sound very old-fashioned and even affectatious.

In English the informal is not used any more. It was _thou_, _thee_ , _thy/thine_. Now it is just all _you_, _you_, _your_, so in a way you are being respectful all the time.

In English, (I can speak for the UK at least). Respect is shown by not being rude. The default way of talking tends to be considered polite, but you would go out of your way to be disrespectful. So as long as you are not swearing, or trying to be rude, using please and thank you, may I instead of I want etc you will be respectful. The only time there is protocol is when you’re meeting royalty, which I’m very much doubting you will be doing. I believe in America they address people with “Sir” and “Madame”. Which is less common in the UK unless in a very formal setting.

Overusing sir and madam without second thoughts can actually alienate people who are already strangers to you.

As a native speaker of both Chinese and English, manners matters more in English. You is not impolite. In Chinese we have 你、您、貴方、and the list goes on. Only use sir or madam if you are in customer service or want to show extreme respect (like 貴方 in Chinese). You can also refer to them by a title like Mr. Smith, Dr. Smith, if you know their name, but I don't see a need most of the time.

Age and social hierarchy don't always dictate how you speak. Would you say the only difference in how you address a peer versus a boss is the honorific you use? Just do it the same way, more formal with someone you mean to be respectful towards.

It's all about tone and what words you use really.

“You” is actually formal! The informal/friendly second person singular pronoun is *thou/thee/thy/thine.* It is basically never used anymore outside of some fixed formulaic expressions (for example, “with this ring, I thee wed”). So you are being polite! Also, you could consider borrowing expressions from other English-speaking cultures that use similar honorifics; I know that many South Asians and West Africans for example will say “auntie” to a respected older woman, regardless of whether she is your actual aunt. There are probably other similar uses of uncle, grandfather, etc. Someone from a relevant country might be able to help you, if you really want English equivalents. It might come off *very* oddly, though, depending on where and to whom you are speaking, so be warned.

nhập gia tuỳ tục, nhập giang tuỳ khúc—people simply don’t care as much in english

Unless you're in the military or something, you don't need to say anything special. I have never said 'sir' or 'madam/ma'am' in my life and worked in customer service for many years. I have heard them only when visiting the southern USA. Talking to everyone as your equal is the most polite in my (Australian) opinion.

I (person with lifelong anxiety issues) get made fun of for being pointedly courteous, because it sounds excessively formal. Like wearing a tux to a baby shower. I agree with your impression of how "you" gets used in English. If I need to tell my boss she didn't inform me of a task, and that's why I didn't do it, "you didn't tell me" is both correct, and potentially a bit brash. The workaround becomes about implicit phrasing. "I was not made aware", or something similar, means that nobody, including my boss, had informed me of what I needed to do. However, constantly rephrasing things can be tiresome. Yes, "you" can sound aggressive and accusatory to people who are sensitive to etiquette. BUT, this is also happening *all the time* in English, because there's not much alternative. For someone to take offense at every occasion, they would exhaust themselves trying to maintain their outrage. They'd also look ridiculous for getting their feelings hurt by inoffensive phrasing with no other options. In other words, go ahead and get used to being disrespectful - everyone else is.

I know it can be hard and it feels wrong if it's not done in your culture, but in many English speaking places, you show respect by calling people by their preferred name. I say preferred, because some Catherines (for example) may prefer to be called: Kate Katie Cat Cath Cathy Catherine. Some will hate to be called Catherine, some will hate to be called Kate. Someone who prefers Katie might really hate being called Kate or Cathy. There are standard variations for many English names, and while some people won't care which you use, some people will care very much. Use whatever name a person introduces themself as (or is introduced to you as, or signs themself off as). If they want you to call them Mr/Ms, they will let you know.

We simply don't use terms like that! I've noticed that some people with backgrounds in explicit-respect cultures sometimes apologize constantly, but this is very weird to hear for native speakers. There's just a very different way of showing respect in most English cultures (and when we learn a new language, we're often baffled -- "how am I supposed to guess this person's status and use the right pronoun?" etc)

Which English? For British English, no honorifics (excepting to Judges in court, or royalty) are used. Sir and madam sound cold or foreign.

Vietnamese? Essentially, in English, we tend to show respect not with the pronouns we use but the amount of directness in how we speak, and how much room there is for the other person to say no. So, the following requests go from less to more polite: Sit! (This one is for dogs!) Please sit down (still in imperative form) Why don’t you take a seat? If you take a seat, someone will help you shortly. If you wouldn’t mind taking a seat for a few moments, a staff member will be with you shortly. In Japan, where I live and work, even using a word for “you” is seen as rude. Different languages, different social rules.

A historical context to add—“you” is already formal. In the 16th and early 17th century we did have the informal second person singular “thou” but it was phased out as the class system in English-speaking places became increasingly muddled and difficult to tell whether a person you were talking to you was of higher status. But as everyone else has said, English now expresses formal register in other ways. I would say there are probably about four registers of different formality in most spoken English dialects. And it largely is done by honorifics (sir, ma’am) titles (mr., mrs.), the inclusion or exclusion of words like please and thank you, or the inclusion or exclusion of slang

Respect is shown by speaking in complete sentences, using appropriate grammar, making eye contact and active listening. For example, if someone asks, ‘are you enjoying your time here?’. Saying, ‘yeah’ or ‘uh huh’ is less respectful than saying, ‘Yes. I’ve had a wonderful time.’

My coworkers are native English speakers like myself but not from the US and when speaking to or about others they use Mr (Mister) or Miss. So they say Miss. Caroline or Mr. Jonathan when speaking to or about our clients. It is respectful but also would not feel strange to those that are accustomed to being addressed by just their first name. This was also how my parents taught me to address adults when I was a child.

Not sure which type of English you're using, but in my part of the UK if you were more formal to old people because they were old you would actually insult them because they would feel patronised. Stick to the more formal speech you're being taught in this thread for work only unless you see native English speakers around you doing different.

If it makes you feel any better, "you" was originally a polite term in English. We stopped saying "thou" because we started to feel like it was rude, and everyone deserved the politeness of "you". 🙂 That's very old, and a lot of modern native speakers don't know it, but it's still true!

Referring to someone as "you" isn't rude in English. We simply don't have anything like honorifics in English. If you want to be extra polite you can refer to people as "sir" or "ma'am" but with the exception of the American South, this will sound overly formal in most cases. >I want to avoid sounding rude or overly casual when speaking to older people or those in higher positions This isn't something you need to worry about in English. Unless you're going out of your way to be insulting, you won't sound rude. We just don't have that sense of social hierarchy in our language or culture.

I live in New Mexico. Our local culture dictates respectful behavior, especially toward older people. “Ma’am” and “sir” are commonly used.

If you're talking to an older person or someone in a higher position, addressing them as "Sir" or "Ma'am / Miss" never hurt - some Native Speakers do this to show respect in this way - but for most people these are usually reserved for more formal conversation, and if you're talking casually there's nothing wrong with referring to someone as "You" (or Them, They, Him, Her, etc) no matter their station. Some examples: You see an older man get onto a crowded train and cannot find a seat: "Excuse me, Sir? Would you like to take my seat?" You enter a hotel, and the lady at reception asks if you'd like to book a room: "Yes Ma'am! Just for one night, thank you!" It might be helpful if I explain that in most English-speaking societies, we do still have ways of showing respect to people like elders, veterans, or in the workplace, but we don't exactly have specific words that we use. Rather, the general word choice you use in all of your speaking will indicate the level of formality (or informality) of your address. The more formally one speaks, the more respectful one could consider the language to be. If you're trying to speak formally / politely, you should generally avoid using slang phrases, and using too many contractions can be seen as casual (though it's not a super big deal). Also, just the general choice of words makes a difference, you'll want to avoid words with general meanings if you can in favor for more precise language. Obviously swear words or words with vulgar meanings / connotations are out (words like Fuck, Shit, Ass, etc). "Mate, you're a top bloke, but your friend's a twit." is very informal, perfect for casual conversation, but would be seen as crass in some (not all) workplaces. "Sir, you know I hold you in high regard, but I'm afraid your partner is proving rather difficult to get along with." is basically the same message but much more formal. This would be more appropriate in (some) workplace settings, but it'd be a bit odd to drop this in casual conversation. A friend would wonder why you're suddenly speaking so formally. It's all very context-specific, I'm afraid. On the whole, English doesn't really have specific words for addressing people more / less politely, so in general the way you are polite / rude is in the way you say what you're saying. I wouldn't worry too much about it. If you are clearly not a native English speaker, most native speakers will be quite forgiving if you accidentally say something which might ordinarily be seen as odd or rude.

I’m from the southern Midwest USA, and we still use honorifics - Sir and Ma’am ( pronounced mam). I’m near 50 and I still reflexively say “Sir, can I help you with that?” “Ma’am, you dropped something!” “Yes sir” and “yes Ma’am” pop out of my mouth all the time in daily conversation. This is very common from, I think, the center of the US down to the southeast. The British, however, seem to think that Ma’am is only what you call the queen, and have been highly amused (and a bit charmed) when I reflexively address them that way in my slight southernish drawl. I think they generally consider it rude but I get a pass because I’m very polite otherwise. :-)

For addressing specifically: Sir, m’am (older woman) and Miss (younger woman) English tends to have formalities put on certain words instead of pronouns though. Such as “May I…” instead of “Can I…”, or adding qualifiers like “possibly”, and “maybe,”. Mostly, politeness in English is shown through indirect conversation instead of direct conversation. I would suggest looking at how fast food employees take your order or how an employee talks to their boss. Informal sentence when addressing someone the same age: Can I try some of your drink? (Ignore the fact that no one would ask their boss to try a drink): May I possibly try some of your drink please?

Interestingly enough "you" is the honorific/formal 2nd person pronoun. English used to have an informal/familiar 2nd person pronoun, but now it's seen as "fancy old English" - thee/thou was informal. If you pick up the King James version of the Bible you may be shocked to see people using "thou" when addressing God. Apparently that was because it was emphasizing that God was our father, and thus we should use the familiar when addressing him.

Respect is shown not through address, but through nuance. British English has a very deep “tradition” of back-handed politeness, and though it’s less common in America overall, I’d say the American south still very much engages with it. Polite language does not always signify respect to English speakers. That said, there are some general ways you can avoid sounding disrespectful. The main way is to avoid sounding accusatory. In professional settings, it’s common to use passive verbs and sentence structures that avoid attaching a result to any specific person’s actions.

Address them with their honoric title at the beginning, at the end, or after the "you," of the sentence. Titles such Mister, Miss, or Mistress (pronounces Missiz) are generic honorifics. They are almost always abbreviated as "Mr," "Ms," or "Mrs" and require a first name or surname after (eg: Ms. Rachel, Mr. Rogers, Mrs. Puff). "How are you doing, Mrs. Puff?" (Americans add a "." after the titles, Brits don't.) Professional honorific titles such Doctor or Professor function the same way. They are also shortened (eg: Dr Strange) and if a person has one it is always more polite to use in place of Mr, Ms, or Mrs. "Will you do the surgery, Dr. Strange?" The above are all the common ones and most people don't need to use much more in their daily lives. Below is a more exhaustive list. You may also read the Wikipedia article on [English Honorifics](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/English_honorifics) for more. Professional honorific titles such as President can either be used like honorific titles (President Obama) but also like stand-ins for names (Mr. President). "President Trump, it's good to finally sit and discuss with you." "Mr. President, it must be fun living in the Whitehouse." Other honorific titlea that can be used as stand-ins for names are "Sir" and "Ma'am", commonly used for people you don't know the name of, or for people it's awkward to call the name of (such as ones relative). It is also popularly used in school or business. "Sir, may I use the restroom?" "I have those reports for you, Ma'am." There is a whole sweet of other honorifics that are highly contextual. "Captain" is for leaders of vessels (planes or ships). "Madam" is used as the counterpart to "Mr" in very formal settings ("Madam Speaker" not Ms/Mrs Speaker). Sometimes "Miss" is distinct from "Ms" ("Miss" might be used for little girls, but not "Ms") altough that's only in writing. "Mistress" is never spelled out exept when its pronounced how its spelt and then it has a different meaning. Different religious leaders might use "Pastor," "Reverend," "Rabbi," or the one relevant to their religion. Some members of certain Christian churches address each other as "Brother" or "Sister." And to end on a hopefully familiar note, if you ever go before a Judge, you need not only say Judge, but may also say "Your Honour." Those are some of the honorific titles used in English. Americans are often more lax with their use (especially in Northern States or more Urban areas) and thus you might stand out as very polite if you adhere to them. In most other English sleaking countries, you'll sound a little more polite than the average person but not that much.

You know are being truly respected when the kebab shop owner calls you "Boss Man"

Depends on where your at - some areas will use Sir/Ma’am as a politeness - but in other areas it can come across a little rude. There’s also like cultural nuances - like I’m in the US but I’m also indigenous (native Hawaiian) and a lot of indigenous folks here show additional respect with familial terms. For example many of us were taught to refer to anyone roughly our parents age or older as Auntie/Uncle unless they’re old enough to be decidedly an elder and then it’s grandmother/grandfather. (This is partly because that’s how a lot of our native languages show respect so we continue doing that in English) That again isn’t going to work *everywhere* but if you in an area with a high population of indigenous folks - it would be a lot more correct than Sir/Ma’am. TLDR: there’s a lot of regional nuance & you’ll probably have to inquire more specifically from local folks how to show respect to elders and folks that have hierarchy over you in some way.

I remembered some other cultural things! In most Anglophone countries, it is considered very personal to ask an adult's age, even indirectly. So any age-based hierarchy with a stranger or co-worker doesn't work well, because you should only know such private information with family and friends. Of course we do show respect for elders with family and friends, or when it is plainly obvious like a child interacting with an adult. That respect is usually shown in the same way as other cultures, such as helping them with things and listening to them carefully. I have been to some countries where that sort of age-based respect is common, but English is widely spoken, such as Singapore and India for example. They all have different solutions for this, but it seemed to me that it is always acceptable to use honorifics from a different language while otherwise speaking English. Somebody please correct me if I am mistaken. 

We don't really have anything like that; just don't worry about it. If a situation comes up where you would use them, you'd basically say them literally (like saying something like "little one" or "kid", and stuff like that, though even that's not that common)

You will not come across as rude. You can say m’am or sir to be extra polite but it often sounds excessive. Avoid saying this like “hey you” and you’ll be fine.

I don’t know if this might help the way you think of it, but technically “you” *is* the formal address. If you look at older English sources, we used to use “thee” and “thou” as informal or personal address. Over time, we started applying the polite “you” to more and more people until eventually it was the only form of address we used and “thee/thou” became old-fashioned. In general though, I think English speakers like to think of ourselves as less hierarchical. I call my boss’s boss’s boss by his first name and it would be weird to call him “sir” (though this may vary between industries/companies). I mostly see sir/ma’am used if you work in the service industry or with much older people, though some people will get offended *because* they think you’re saying they’re old.

if you're speaking to English speakers, there's no way more than Mr. , Lord (archaic) and maybe others but not anymore in use, stinkiest for women. If you're addressing someone from your culture in English, you could add those honorifics to the name. Or better even, speak to them in your language with the expected level of respect.

If they are the same age or younger, you can use their name to address them. If they are 10+ years older than you, I would go with Mr. First name or Ms “First Name.” Like Mr. Steve or Ms. Daniella You can always use your tone and pitch. I use sir and ma’am if I’m confident in the gender. Otherwise I would say “heyyyy” or “hey youuuu~” And use a friendly tone. There is a lot of fun respectful ways you can address people.

Some other things that you could do is say "I would like..." instead of "I want" .. and "Could I have..." instead of "Can I have..." and just using please, pardon, sorry

Respect in English in conveyed through sentence structure & vocabulary. "Excuse me, do you know of any good restaurants?" means the exact same thing as "yo, where the best eats at?" pragmatically (both are you asking someone where a good place to eat is). The only difference is that the first is pretty respectful and the other is very informal. Telling a waiter "I would like a drink, please" verses "Gimme a drink" is similar; both serve a similar purpose in conversation, and differ slightly in how respectful they sound. >But in English, those terms don’t exist — everyone is just “you.” I want to avoid sounding rude or overly casual when speaking to older people or those in higher positions. "You" isn't rude or casual. It just is. You are worrying about a non-issue. There are honorific titles like "sir/ma'am", or "Mister/Misses/Miss". But those aren't necessary to sound polite, and are falling out of use in most places. To be frank, if you're learning English, you probably are speaking rather politely for the most part. Most learning materials don't go over particularly rude/informal speech.

One thing I haven't seen mentioned is that if you want to be polite in the US, be sure to make eye contact when talking to someone. In some cultures, people avoid eye contact with people older than them or higher ranking, but that is seen as rude in the US. Making eye contact shows that you are paying attention and listening to what they are saying. When saying 'thank you', it shows that you actually mean what you are saying and not being disingenuous.

Surely by assuming someone's age or social hierarchy, you run the risk of offending the other person? Much better to just make everyone equal.

Generally in English speaking places hierarchal stuff is expressed more via other word choices and the general overall level of politeness, it's subtle and can be annoying for non-native speakers more used to a language with explicit honorific levels. "You" isn't rude in English regardless of who you're speaking to, whether it's a random person on the street, the Pope, or a national leader. What distinguishes speech upward on the hierarchy is more picking differential word choices, avoiding slang, and tending to say please and thank you more. for example, when dealing with a friend in an email or text I might say "thx" or just a thumbs up emoji. If I was dealing with someone who cared about social hierarchy and was "above" me I'd spell out "thank you" or even "thank you for your time". Note that some people like to have a reputation for "plain speaking" or similar and will claim to prefer that their subordinates speak bluntly to them. Sometimes they actually mean it, other times they think they mean it but really don't. Take your cues from others at your social level when speaking to such people. I've worked at a place where the owner really did mean it and vastly preferred us to straight up tell him that something was stupid bullshit if that's what we meant. I've worked at other places where the owner claimed to be like that, but in fact wanted some buttering up more formal type speech from us. So "stupid bullshit" might become "not ideal". Corporate speak, like "leading to suboptimal outcomes" can often come across as sarcastic, so be careful about it. Note also that phrases like "as per my last email" are widely known to have rude meanings. "As per my last email" means "I already told you this you stupid asshole" and should be avoided unless you mean to be on record as subtly calling someone an idiot.

In my language, we don't have these titles either. To my understanding in English you'd use ma'am/sir, Mr, Ms/Mrs/Miss.

In the american south (USA) Ma'am is for women older than a certain age and miss is for women under that age. Sir is often used for men especially for older men. If I was in the south trying to get an older man's/women's attention, "I'd say excuse me sir/ma'am"

Florida, USA native here. Father was THE drill sergeant in the military for decades. I grew up with politeness drilled into me, quite literally and pun intended. Sir, Ma’am, and Miss were requirements when speaking with adults, elders, seniors, etc. If a name was known, then Mr, Mrs, or Ms. were required with their family name. Only with well known friends could we say Mr, Mrs, or Miss with a first name. Yes and No were always accompanied by Sir or Ma’am. Please, when asking, and thank you when receiving, were compulsory in every day life. Using MAY, COULD, or MIGHT instead of CAN or DO when asking a question was looked upon as proper. That being said, I receive a lot of strange looks from people all the time. They think I am being funny with them when, at this point, it is reflex.

"If it please milady...." No, don't do that. I have a feeling I'm older than most of the people responding because to me it's perfectly natural to be called sir, especially by someone younger or in a professional capacity, or to be addressed as "Mr. \[lastname\]" in writing, and I still follow these conventions myself, sometimes. To me it's situational and I try to take cues from others around me. Also, don't begin or end every sentence with "sir" or "ma'am" unless you're following military protocol. I grew up with people in certain situations calling me "sir" since I was in my early teens, at least, so it doesn't strike me as sarcastic or insulting. In fact I'm still taken aback a little when someone I don't know calls me "buddy" or something like that, but I've learned to get used to it. Edit: I have noticed it seems more common for women to be offended by the word women, perhaps because there is an implicit assumption of age (at some point, girls go from "miss" to "ma'am"), but I can't help but wondering if it's just something about the sound of the word. The vowel sound in standard American English can be kind of harsh and nasal and lends itself to sarcasm.

"Yes, sir" or "Yes, ma'am"

In the u.s., people in some formal settings show respect by calling the other person and honorific and then their last name. This is almost always the case for students in school addressing their teachers. My college professors are always "Dr. So-and-so.". My mom always made me address my friend's parents like this. The other place you see these are legal proceedings and courtrooms. Where witnesses and defenders are addressed as (honorific+last name) and the various workers of the courtroom like the judge and the lawyers are addressed by their role. But in basically every other setting you call people by their given name. People show respect in less direct ways, usually by being humble when asking for a request, by obeying the orders given by their boss. The respect comes from the way the conversation flows.

The concept of "age" and "social hierarchy" don't exist in English-speaking countries, or at least not in the way you are thinking about them. The concept of nobility used to exist (and to some degree still does in England), but in the U.S. for example these constructs have been purposefully eliminated to the point where anyone trying to imply they have some social status will be treated with derision. People with a lot of money will sometimes put on such airs, but this is a small subset you are unlikely to interact with. If a person who is older tries to act "important" they will quickly be taught they are no different than anybody else. If you try to introduce this notion somehow, it will be interpreted as backwards and primitive. There is a concept of saying "sir" or "ma'am" but these are usually used in customer-service roles or maybe with strangers. There are other subtler ways of signalling respect though, like saying "please" and "thank you" and using the subjunctive (e.g. "could I please have X" or "would it be possible for you to do x"). There are a lot of nuances in speech like this that will have the effect you want, but they are not used differently with people based on their age or some other status.

When the king speaks to normal people he uses the same pronouns that they use to speak to him. We don't have honourifics. The concept that you are trying to use simply doesn't exist in English. Everyone is indeed "you", and you won't sound rude or overly casual. If you try to find ways to shoe-horn relative social status into speech you will sound like a weirdo.

The closest I can think is using words like sir or madam (like “thank you sir”). Our pronouns don’t show respect though, we just have “you” EDIT: you said without honorifics, nvm lol. Think there just isn’t much to do then?

In my opinion, in order to talk more respectfully, you can talk more passively, whereas if you’re being informal you can talk more actively with more simplistic/surface level language

You don't need to worry about that. If you want to make sure you're polite, then you just want to avoid too much slang, crass language, or bringing up topics that are considered private.

I make sure not to use slang in situations I see as formal and on rare occasion I’ll use ma’am/sir when addressing the other person.

When don’t have honorific terms other than Sir or Ma’am

In the UK I address everyone at work including my boss with their first name - it would feel odd to use an honorific for us, and we act on the principle of everyone is equally spoken to in the same way. Sir or Madam can be used (especially in some service jobs) but it’s considered old fashioned and frankly I would feel uncomfortable if someone addressed me like that. The only person I’ve ever addressed with Mr/Ms/Mrs X is my teachers when I was in school (and by university age you drop this formality). You can just use “please” and “thank you” where necessary and in formal conversations use full words (not slang). That’s considered generally polite enough I think.

I mean their are a few, replacing you with sir (for men) or ma'am(for women) can work, but depending on where you are you may get the other person saying "please don't call me sir" potentially due to the terms association with upper classes or the military. The next rung down is to call someone Mister/Miss/Missus/mizz (man/unmarried woman /married woman/ woman who wishes not to disclose marital status,) [[last name]] but this is rarer than it used to be and is mostly used by children. So while calling your buddy Mr. Smith is more respectful they might actually ask you not to do that either In a lot of English speaking places respect is about tone and word choice. the other person will generally tell you how they wised to be addressed and then being respectful is about being considerate afterwards.

If you're talking to someone much older than you, you can use sir or ma'am. That's about it. But even those words feel a bit outdated. And I would only use them when the age difference is extreme like a child speaking to a senior. For the most part, people aren't going to care. Just don't go out of your way to be an asshole and you'll be fine

Fun fact: “You” is the formal word for you. We’re formal by default Thou would be the informal word, but it’s archaic.

You can show respect by being polite and treating them as a equal to yourself. Mr/Mrs/Ms (last name) can also help seem respectful but many people don’t like that level of formality

English in the US and Canada at least has become less and less formal. One thing that still lingers is using Mr, Ms. (Dr. Professor, Rev) for teachers. Though some times with the person’s first name (Ms Janet). Adults often find it awkward to address a former teacher without a title long after graduation. Unless one is very familiar with one’s own religious leader, it is still standard to always use the title, the same goes for medical doctors.

Vietnamese, I see. Saying hi from abroad lol anyways, since English doesn’t have kinship pronouns like Viet, one way you can express politeness is formal pronouns for introductions such as “sir”, “ma’am”, etc. but “you” is still used after introductions. In the end, using “you” is the norm to address a second-person without any polite or impolite implications. Such implications and tones are determined by contexts and environments of your speech. >!chúc may mắn nha :)!<

Like everyone else says, it doesn’t matter too much. Except for one thing: titles. This is the one situation where *some* people might be upset with you, although a lot of people don’t care. If you are addressing someone that has a doctoral degree (PhD or MD for example) then it is best to refer to them as “Doctor”. For example, if you are addressing someone named “John Smith” who has a PhD degree, you would call them “Doctor Smith”. Usually people will only expect you to do it in a professional setting. So if you are a student and your teacher has a PhD, or if you are working with someone with a PhD. People were a lot more strict on this in the past, and often if you don’t do this they won’t care, but it’s not uncommon for people to find it rude.

We don't use honourifics outside the family unit.

Use Sir, ma'am? People from the Southern US do this, if you want to see examples. You basically add it at the end of a sentence All the respect and honorifics vary by culture, so even if you are doing it with the best of intentions, the others may not perceive the same way

The one honorific that English speakers do tend to be particular about is: Call a doctor or professor "Dr. \[Last Name\]" or "Professor \[Last Name\]" unless you have either a casual relationship with them that justifies the use of their first name, or you are of equal standing with them in that field or a similar field.

In English, what I’ve noticed (as a native English speaker) is that in many situations, things like tone, body language, expression, etc. can go a long way. It’s true that I say “you” to family, friends, coworkers, acquaintances, both younger and older people, etc. But the tone, body language, etc. and other aspects of conversation can often make the point.

Stop speaking English through the Vietnamese lens. Language is not just about the words. You need to learn the general culture of the Anglosphere. Whether it be the US, UK, Australia, etc all of these cultures value individualism and that reflects in the language and culture. Người phương Tây rất tôn trọng sự công bằng trong xã hội. Đây là một điều hoàn toàn khác biệt với văn hóa Việt Nam. Tôi là một người Mỹ gốc Việt nên tôi hiểu được cả hai lối sống. Mà sự thật là tôi thấy kiểu phương Tây thoải mái hơn, everyone is "you" (generally) không cần theo vai anh chị cô chú bác. Không phải công bằng trong cách nói không mà công bằng trong mọi thứ...ai cũng được tôn trọng theo chủ nghĩa cá nhân. Sorry my Vietnamese is so-so lol I know this is hard to understand for you as a Vietnamese person but take all of the Vietnamese cultural values and throw them in the trash if you ever want to truly speak and understand English on a high level. The cultural values are fundamentally different if not opposed. You need to completely rewire your brain when speaking and interacting with most native English speakers. On the other hand, most English speakers find it incredibly hard to understand Vietnamese society as well. They are very very very different.

There are no pronouns that will do this for you. However, to show respect you can call people sir or ma'am, or Mr or Ms Last-Name. (However, sometimes saying ma'am can cause offense because a woman might think you're suggesting she's old. A younger woman would be referred to as miss.) Do note that some English speaking cultures like doing this and others don't. In the Southern US, using sir/ma'am and Mr/ Ms is normal, polite, and will be well-received. It can even be rude not to use them to an older person. But in Ireland, for example, it may make people uncomfortable and they may ask you to stop. So the best thing you can do is say Mr Last-Name until someone tells you how they prefer to be called. If they say to just call them by their first name, do that.

In the US, especially in certain regions, you can address the listener as "sir" (male listener) or "ma'am" (female listener). Use them in place of a proper name and only use it the first time you address them and at the close of the conversation. Otherwise, just use "you." Example: "Hello, sir. How are you today?" "OK. Thanks a lot. Have a good day, ma'am."

In the US, at least, very formal or honorific language is seen more as old-fashioned and sort of distant rather than respectful. Formality is a kind of distancing between people and being friendly and open is seen as more important than using particular forms of address. If you’re addressing older people, calling them ma’am for women or sir for men is more than enough. (This is for things like saying “Yes, ma’am,” instead of simply “Yes.” You don’t have to say it every time you address someone.)

Just say "please" and "thank you" frequently, and you'll be fine. In many psrtd of the USA, older people and people in authority are often called "sir" or "ma'am" when you want to be formal. Some people get called by their title, like "Doctor," "Officer," etc.

Depends where you are. In some Southern US states it’s expected that elders are referred to as Mr., Mrs., or Miss [first name], and Sir or Ma’am. For example “Hi Mr. Mike, nice to see you, sir.”

Singling someone out is almost ruder than not. You can use Ms/mrs/mr (last name) but not everyone likes that and usually you’ll know someone’s first name not their last name

One extra thing I haven’t seen, is that when you’re adressing someone you don’t know the name of it’s a lot more common to use the honorifics “sir” and “miss”. (Excuse me sir, …/ Hi miss, …) For friends or people you know you’d typically just say their first name or a nickname if you’re close. (“Hi Jessica, …/Hey Jecka, …) Otherwise if it’s an informal setting and you don’t want so sound too formal you can just use “Hey” or similar to get their attention, or something like “Hey you there” if they’re not looking your direction.

Just say “you.”

Toastmasters, a self help group specializing in speech making, has an official position where the official counts number of times a speaker uses the word, "Ah". The position is called, [the Ah Counter.](https://www.toastmasters.org/membership/club-meeting-roles/ah-counter)

Well the way my father brought me up of you don't know a person's name and wish to address them with a kind of formal respect, you'd say "sir" (masculine) or "ma'am" (feminine). If you know their family/surname, then Mister, Misses or Miss as the case presents.

Politeness is cultural. Do some research on the local culture and go from there. Omitting honorifics of any kind is usually acceptable regardless of culture. Sometimes including them could be seen as impolite.

Chào em. English doesn't use pronouns in the same way as tiếng Việt, or even French which has a polite and familiar form of "you". You is the appropriate pronoun in English, for everyone, no matter the relative ages of the speakers.

The closest you get is either sir or ma'am unless your dealing with someone with a title I.E. referring to a judge as your honor during a court case

The closest thing I can think of is calling someone Mr. or Ms. Last Name. When you’re a kid you call adults Mr. and Ms. Smith to be respectful. As an adult I rarely use Mr. and Ms. I just call people by their first names.

Sir for men, miss for young women, ma'am for older women.

You could use "sir" or "ma'am" if you want to be polite, but most people don't  

respect and hierarchy is communicated much more implicitly in english conversations than it is in a lot of other languages. it is generally frowned upon to so plainly state the social hierarchy, however it is also frowned upon to not follow it. just treat everyone with respect, and it will sort itself out

"Sir" and "Ma'am" are your friends, and/or starting communication with "Mr./Ms. Last name." Some people will immediately tell you, "Oh, you can just call me [First name]," and you should listen when they say that and start using their first name instead. If someone your own age or seniority is using your first name, you can do the same, and for what it's worth, in most situations, starting with first names is a fine assumption generally. But when there is an age or rank difference, and especially if you obviously have a different accent or are not a native speaker, no one is ever going to be offended by you defaulting to the more formal sir/ma'am/Mr./Ms. Just don't keep doing it if they specifically ask you to stop.

When it comes to honorific pronouns, you can always use “ma’am” or “sir” or similar. But many people—especially with “ma’am” (which is short for “madam”)—don’t like these. It’s more of a regional thing. “Sir” is more reliably safe to use. But yes, generally, you show deference more by your demeanor and your tone than by using honorifics. Be polite, make requests and not demands, say thank you, etc., and you’re good.

Address men as "Sir", women as "Ma'am". If you know their last name, address them as "Mr/Mrs Lastname". Don't be surprised if a lot of people tell.you to address them by their first name, or tell you you don't need to call them sir/ma'am. Westerners are very informal for the most part.

"Sir" and "ma'am" are pretty commonly used.

You don't need to. There's no worry about sounding rude or overly casual for not using some sort of honorific or title. This is a cultural difference that you'll have to get accustomed to.

I think its hard, you could try sir(male) or maam(female) but it is going to sound super formal, like weirdly so. In some professional situations it works but just socially, not so much. I just don't think there really is a good English equivalent. Maybe I just lack manners though.

>everyone is just “you.” There you go. Rather than going out of your way to be polite, in English you have to go out of your way to be rude.

You show respect by actions as well as words and tone of voice. Not by using a special term. Don't worry! The older person or person of authority will not think something is missing. If it makes you feel any better, "you" used to be the formal, and "thou" and "thee" we the informal. English dropped the informal and kept the formal. So it is ALL formal. We like being respectful to everyone!

There are loads of at best partially correct responses. The key is knowing that ‘you’ is the word to use. As simple as that. There are national and regional differences in how one expresses respect and politeness so be careful in following suggestions about using ‘sir’ or ‘ma’am. In the UK for example they *could* be taken as being cheeky so beware. Simply express respect through politeness and your general behaviour. Saying please and thank you.