...by saying something stupid like "I love you."

There's the literal meaning, and then there's the sentimental meaning that also differs between languages. "I love you" is pretty direct and forward in most use cases in English. I'd say this also depends on the circle you're talking to, as they might feel differently about it.

Lol no, nothing to do with being sued. It's just seen as a significant step in a relationship. Say it too early and it will seem creepy (you've got too attached too quickly) or insincere.

While all of these comments are good ones, they’re missing the fact that this is a lyric from a song. “And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like ‘I love you.’” The underlying meaning is that the person singing the song has feelings for the other person that they might not want to admit right away. The person singing the song has suspicions that the other person might not feel the same way. By “saying something stupid like ‘I love you’” they will either be scaring the other person off and ruining the little fling that they have AND/OR they will be admitting something out loud and making those feelings of love more real to themself despite the fact that the relationship won’t last, thereby making it harder to get over once it ends.

it’s just a bigger deal that carries more weight at least in American culture. People only tend to say it to family or after a few months in a relationship. (and no, no one is worried about getting sued 🤣)

>I mean, as a Latin American we pretty much day it like it's "good morning" I don't think there's any English speaking culture that would say "I love you" as casually as "good morning." "good morning" you can say to literally any stranger as a pleasantry. (in the US, we say "how's it going?" "what's up?" "how are you?" "have a good one" - these can all be used in a similarly casual way) you'd only say "I love you" to someone you have a romantic or a close familial relationship with (or maybe a particularly close friend). you wouldn't say it to a cashier at the gas station. >Is it some kind of verbal contract in English speaking countries? Are people afraid of being sued? this is surely a joke, but in case it isn't ... no

It's just culture and different connotations in different languages and cultures. You might as well ask why Japanese almost never say "ai shiteru" (the literal translation of "I love you", but it has a MUCH heavier connotation). They say "dai suki" (literally translated as "big like" or "very like" where Americans would say "I love you").

It’s a cultural thing. “I love you” is most commonly said to romantic partners, so saying it to random people comes off as excessively forward.

I think the equivalent in America would be something toned down to be less formal, and usually with a casual endearment type word to specify the relationship explicitly. “I love you” -> formal, only for family, serious committed romantic partners, or very close friends in very grave/serious moments “Love ya, [man/dude/bro/other masculine endearment]” -> informal, between 2 men, when in a serious moment or comforting each other “[ily/ilu/love u/ love ya], [girl/bb/queen/other feminine endearment]” -> informal, between 2 women, when expressing normal affection (it’s more acceptable for women to express affection casually) It’s often less socially acceptable for platonic male/female friendships to express love, but they’d likely do it as a modified version of one of the informal methods above. Like a girl might say “dude I love you you’re so funny” to a male friend. A man would be unlikely to say it to a platonic female friend, as it’s either romantic or feminine. A gay man could get away with it as he’d be “safe” from the feminizing aspect and could use the girl-to-girl ones: “love ya, girl”. Another safe method is to address a group. Anyone, male or female, can safely say “I love you guys” to a group of friends, employees, etc, without it seeming culturally romantic. A man could say “I love you guys” to his 2 best female friends together without it being strange. The “guys” (or “I love y’all” in the south I guess lol) also stands in as the endearment to explicitly make the platonic nature of the relationship(s) clear. Btw, to stress how taboo it is for men to express love, even in an extremely serious moment at maximum formality (e.g., a man comforts his childhood best friend after his wife’s funeral), a man would likely _still_ add a gendered endearment to make the relationship explicitly platonic, and say “I love you, man”

It is significantly rarer to throw around in the USA than what I experienced in Brazil. But it does depend a lot on context in the US. If you have a friend that makes a habit of saying something like "love you, man" when he's leaving, for example, it's not as serious as if someone comes out with a confession of love to someone they're dating. A more casual "love you" is almost always a part of saying bye to people, and normally is "love you" instead of "I love you." The I makes it feel much stronger. In fact, Drew Carey hosts a daytime gameshow (The Price is Right) in the USA, and he [ends every show with saying "love you."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LaxTGJDWi0A) It's rare enough that it's striking, but it doesn't come across as creepy or anything.

In México last year no-one said te quiero for buenos días to me, in Chile a few years ago was pretty much the same. YMMV...

In England, it's generally only said to your long-term partner, your children, or your parents; to anyone else it'd be weird. Even for those cases, some people hardly ever or never say the words - especially men. Or, like, once in a blue moon - when proposing marriage, or on your deathbed. Many think it's awkward to say in public. **Generally.** We think Americans are weird for over-using the expression.

I don’t necessarily think a lot of people here will admit it, but one of the reasons for this is that a lot of Americans are more afraid of the vulnerability of emotional intimacy than Latin Americans, especially among men. A good number of my friends who are women say “I love you” every time we say goodbye; my friends who are men have never said it to me without me saying it first.

You would only say "I love you" to someone who you were in a romantic relationship with and it would indicate you wanted to get quite serious with them. If you say it to someone who doesn't want to get serious with you, then it's going to be awkward, at best. You might say it to family or close friends too, but even with close friends, you'd want to be sure that the friend knows you don't mean it romantically, because that could be quite awkward as well.

It carries significant weight in the UK too, at least between those in a romantic couple. It at least should mean a deep level of emotional connection and fondness, WAY beyond just some sort of friendly greeting/comment.

to say “i love you” to a non family member, especially to someone of the opposite sex, is very strongly connotated with romance. it is unlikely a man will say to a female friend “i love you” to mean “i appreciate your friendship and enjoy spending time with you platonically”. it’s a big thing because saying it is an admittance of romantic interest, and so has that same weight and same fear of rejection etc. it’s a big leap. it almost is a contract lol, in certain contexts “i love you” = “will you be my partner” (which i know is also a much looser concept in many other cultures) if your question is why has “i love you” narrowed to romantic use in the english language, i’m not sure. maybe the biggest reason is we don’t have a very good word that shows platonic “love”. so love is used for both romance and platonic, but that romantic side always has a stronger pull on the word, and so using it has the threat of misunderstanding. so the word ends up carrying more weight on the romance side and becomes a more serious and more protected word. not sure

This reminds me of a scene in one of my favorite movies, where one teen girl defines the difference as “I *like* my Sketchers, but I *love* my Prada backpack.” What you’re running into is the difference on the weight we put on the word “love”. I would even go so far as to say there’s also a difference in saying you “love” someone versus saying you’re “in love” with someone — one feels reciprocal and one may not be. In other certain cultures the words “I love you” may not even be spoken at all, instead the people prefer to *show* their love rather than *telling* it to someone.

The song is specifically about saying "I love you" to someone you are dating/in a relationship with/in love with *for the first time*. Which is culturally given a lot more weight than just saying it to family and close friends to tell them you care about them. There's an...acknowledgment of romantic feelings and that things are getting more serious. There's implication that a serious relationship is wanted. And with that comes the fear that the other person might simply like you, rather than love you. Combine that with a cultural romanticisation of the act of saying it through movies, books, music, theatre, etc. - and you get three little words that are given a lot more weight than they probably deserve.

Context matters a lot. "I love you, man" or similar phrases are a lot less formal than "I love you" on its own. In the case of the song, because those words carry such deep meaning in the context of a date, the Sinatras are capturing the fear of rejection. But in general, the more you say it and the more people you say it to, the less it means. It's kind of like swearing in that way. If someone curses in every conversation, I can't take them seriously. They have no language left to use when their emotions escalate. But when someone who only swears on rare occasions says those words, they carry true emotional weight. If someone says "I love you" all the time, it feels less sincere in the moments they are actually overcome with emotion. As for suing, in Britain (and anywhere under British law), men did have to be very careful about "Breach of Promise" lawsuits. Essentially, if a man unilaterally backed out of a marriage proposal, he could be sued for breach of promise. The woman could receive substantial financial payments, and the man's reputation would be ruined. Any consensual sex during the broken engagement could be prosecuted as rape. A woman who had been alone with a man unchaperoned could claim they had an understanding of marriage even if the man did not remember saying any such thing. The law was in effect in Britain from 1750 to 1970 with the last successful lawsuit being in 1969. Before 1750, breach of promise for marriage was considered ecclesiastical law and would have been handled by the church rather than the government. You can understand why a culture would develop an aversion to confessions of romantic love if a misunderstanding could lead to a scandal and large financial losses.

Why would it result in legal action? It's a big deal as in Britain for example people tend to be quite guarded with emotions and saying "I love you" in a romantic setting (as opposed to your kids for instance) for the first time involves letting your guard down. If they don't feel the same you're open to a lot of hurt. In the song I think you're referring to, it's about ruining a casual fling by admitting to beimg too deeply emotionally involved. I don't believe that the subject of the song took them to court over the matter.

I love you is more like te amo than te quiero when said to a romantic partner but (I think) comes with more connotation of seriousness.