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Is there a good way to learn which words can have offensive nuances and which do not?

junepig01
I'm an English learner here. Is there a better(and hopefully efficient) way to learn which words in the same synonym group can have disapproving/insulting nuances and which do not? I use the Oxford Learner's Thesaurus because it is the only thesaurus I could find that explains differences in nuances between synonyms. However, it provides information for a relatively small number of words, considering other thesauri that have synonyms for almost every word but give no explanations. As a non-native English speaker, I feel very cautious when making jokes with American friends. For example, in my language, we often jokingly say to a friend, "Don't be so amenable/easy boy!" when that guy easily believes others' jokes or anything. But when I try to translate it into English, I can't figure out which words are safer. (I understand that not making jokes about someone else at all is the easiest/safest way. But I just hope to improve my English by having the ability to choose proper words like natives.) So, here's the questions: 1. Is there any efficient way to learn the different nuances of similar words? (Especially regarding whether the word has more/less offensive feelings.) 2. Do you know any thesaurus/website except the Oxford one that explains differences between synonyms? Thank you for reading and I'd appreciate every advice!

21 comments

Quirky_Property_1713•
Well for your quote I would say “don’t be so gullible!” Or “don’t be such an easy target!” But no I cannot think of a way to easily learn what you are talking about, beyond just being more familiar with the language. TV is probably your best bet- comedy especially- for learning jokey insults, sarcasm, and similar things!
ursulawinchester•
[To avoid the biggies, The Southern Poverty Law Center maintains a glossary of hate terms.](https://www.splcenter.org/resources/reports/racist-skinhead-glossary/) But for lesser infractions, what is offensive to one English speaker is casual conversation to another. Regions and generations have their own insults. And English native speakers, generally, are very individualistic. Some people don’t like to be messed with and others don’t care; it’s best to err on the side of politeness except with really good friends and that just comes with the experience of the relationship.
Cliffy73•
Just one piece of advice — don’t refer to others as “boy.” It can have quite a negative connotation in the U.S.
wittyrepartees•
I'm not sure if this is what you're asking- but you want to step carefully around words that describe people's ethnicity or something about their body/health. With ethnicity, you want to keep an eye out for things like- words that describe a particular gender of an ethnicity, as they can sound pretty dehumanizing. Also, any word where you're using an ethnicity as an adjective or verb (especially when negative) is probably bad. An example where I'm trying to avoid using anything that's just- shockingly offensive A Jewish person- not offensive unless there's something else in the context A Jew- more likely to be offensive A Jewess- super weird to use and either extremely out of touch or offensive (or both!) Any time where you're using "jew" as an adjective or verb- shockingly offensive
Kman5471•
Unfortunately, no, there is not an easy way to figure it out, other than by asking someone. To make things even more confusing, the rules change a lot! For example, in the past, the word "retard" or "retarded" *used to* be an acceptable way to refer to people with cognitive disabilities (such as those with Down's Syndrome), and was promoted by the medical community. In fact, there is a public service announcement from the 1980's (you can find it on YouTube!) about how "retards make good neighbors"--promoting tolerance and acceptance. The word "retard" is *now* considered a deeply offensive slur. In the opposite direction, "queer" used to be used as an insult against LBGTQ people. About 20 years ago (or so), the LBGTQ community decided to reclaim that word, referring to themselves as Queer, and now it is (increasingly--you should still be careful with it) an acceptable word to refer to that group, i.e the Queer Community, or Queer folks. The problem is, there is no easy way or official source to track changes like this, you just kind of have to pay attention to how people talk about themselves and others.
maxthed0g•
If in doubt, you can always search for word and phrases on the Urban Dictionary website. Its safe to say that, if its on that site, it is either obscene or otherwise offensive. I, of course, don't often need such a site, because I am a native fluent speaker of English LOL LOL LOL. I can speak to Marines, NY cabbies, tow truck drivers, and women who have undertaken certain commercial pursuits. (All of whom may be in various stages of alcoholic impairment) Urban Dictionary helps on occasion.
CaptainFuzzyBootz•
[Urban Dictionary](https://www.urbandictionary.com/) is a great source for looking up slang and different terms like that. I'm a native speaker in New York and I still go to this site from time to time because someone will say something that just confuses me.
casusbelli16•
Susie Dent's Guide to Swearing, giving etymological derivations. Urban Dictionary has many idioms some very geographically specific, if in doubt if something has negative connotations search this.
Bitter-Aerie3852•
What's your home language? Or if you don't mind selecting a random language and then just looking at the English section, I always appreciate dict.cc. I use it as a German-English dictionary, but any words with common offensive meanings will be marked [pej.] -- for pejorative. It also gives the different regions different terms are most common in. They have 26 language options (27, if you count English itself) for their dictionary, so you might be able to find yours, as well : ) 
MuppetManiac•
Gullible. The word you’re looking for when someone will believe anything is gullible.
sophisticaden_•
I don’t have good advice but most things involving calling someone “boy” is generally not going to be well-received.
Unneeded-Opposition•
general rule of thumb that a lot of people miss when learning is that it is almost always rude to refer to someone with just an adjective. gender, race, or ethnicity related adjectives (female, jew, black) come off pretty heavily as you reducing someone to that description and dehumanizing them. there's also a lot of words that carry serious racial connotations. some may sound innocent to someone unaware, but descriptors like "boy" fall under that. there are several ethnophaulisms in american english that come from historical eras like jim crow that are marked by their racist and prejudiced culture. it's important to educate yourself and remember that its alright to make mistakes, but its important to correct them!
No-Self-Edit•
I’ve never tried this, but one thing that AI is really good at is normal English sentences. I wonder if you could plug something in to a LLM and ask it how to say this in the standard English way.
Least_Lecture•
Social media was the key for me!! Mainly Tumblr, because people there LOVE to discuss semantics and the nuances of language, even if it is just to call people out (all the time.)
ResidentAssignment80•
It's very difficult and an issue that even native English speakers struggle with as alternate meanings for words or how "bad" a word is varies from place to place and country to country. An example is the word "fag" which in the US is an very offensive term for a gay man while in the UK it refers to a cigarette. So the phrase "bum a fag" would be understood VERY differently in the US vs the UK Obviously other languages have similar issues. I would recommend doing your best to follow the lead of native speakers from the area, and when in doubt trying to keep it simple.
Kerflumpie•
Even native speakers make this kind of mistake a lot. Maybe they don't know all the meanings of the word; maybe some new internet slang has become attached to that word and they didn't know; or maybe they just didn't think about what they were saying, until they heard the words come out of their mouth. Usually you can tell from the reaction of the group if you have made a mistake, and how bad that mistake was: was it funny, or did you say a terrible slur. As a non-native speaker, you will be forgiven much more easily than a local, even if you make a terrible mistake.
dontforgettowriteme•
Urban dictionary dot com for all the slang you never want to know.
Ancient-Life-847•
Urban dictionary
SnooDonuts6494•
> easily believes others Gullible. > Is there any efficient way to learn the different nuances Just through practice. Talking in English. Having conversations. Also reading, writing, watching TV, listening to podcasts, etc... but mostly, talking. > thesaurus/website Google is pretty good. Just whatever synonym. https://www.google.com/search?q=whatever+synonym
stackedsweet1e•
Lowkey, the best way to learn nuance is just by lurking in comment sections. Memes and petty internet drama teach more about tone than any textbook.
AdventurousExpert217•
You can Google the connotation of words and you can use [https://visuwords.com/](https://visuwords.com/) to see related uses of a word. You can also check a corpus of words to see how the word is used in sentences: [https://www.english-corpora.org/coca/](https://www.english-corpora.org/coca/)